


Who Would Be A Merman Bold

by TomyrisDarkwarden



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Inspired by Poetry, M/M, MerMay 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 18:25:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19045915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomyrisDarkwarden/pseuds/TomyrisDarkwarden
Summary: Who would be a Merman bold? Sitting alone. Singing alone. Under the sea, with a crown of gold, on a throne.





	Who Would Be A Merman Bold

**Author's Note:**

> I am back on my poetry shit just in time for (well actually on the very last day of) MerMay!

The spicy smell of fermented tobacco mixed with the salt sea air of the Mediterranean and burned in Jesse McCree’s nose.

The glowing cherry of his cigarillo was the least of the light pollution emanating from Watchpoint Gibralter, making it near impossible to see the stars.

Even if he could see them they would be different than the ones native to the midnight sky of his desert home half a world away.

The wind coming off the sea was bitter cold and the sand was full of flotsam that has washed ashore and had no one to clean up after it.

Still.

It was better than being trapped in his bunk with his heart and his memories.

The rhythm of white waves crashing into each other and onto the beach some way away rocked his mind gently and, as he allowed his eyes to close, eased his fall into That Space.

The space where the ancient Things lived and whispered songs into the hearts of the living.  
The song that filled his heart and his mind sang of salt and fire and water and a wisdom older than a million human lifetimes.  
If he had to put it into words they would say-

> _Who would be a merman bold,_  
>  Sitting alone,  
> Singing alone  
> Under the sea  
> With a crown of gold  
> On a throne? 

He floated in his mind and his limbs were relaxed. He opened his lungs to air that was heavy and wet and timeless.  
His eyelids still weighted with sleep opened only with great effort and little good it did him.

He floated in darkness, alone but comforted by a close and easy pressure.

The air? Water?  
That which surrounded him shifted etherially and lights began to blink into existence around him one by one.

Jesse made note of them around him, above him and even below him, affirming the otherworldliness of it all.   
It shifted again and he felt the other presence as waves in the water long before he saw him.

Him?

Maybe? Probably? Maybe not?  
Them.

A graceful, flowing form of blue scales and peachy pearlescent skin.  
Their powerful tale was long and tipped with gossamer fins. Their arms and torso solid and strong.  
Hair, long atop their head and short and clean on their chin, and eyes as deep and black as the nothingness that surrounded them, but full of lightning and life.

Down their right arm, were another set of odd, flat looking scales. No. Not scales. Markings. The image of a sea serpent coiled around their bicep and encircled their forearm.

The being before him eyed Jesse with suspicion. They circled him, Jesse sitting perfectly still. With every circle they grew bolder, until they were close enough to touch.  
Still, Jesse refused to move a muscle.

They got up into his face, looking deep into Jesse's eyes. He couldn’t escape the trite idea that those eyes (not black as he first assumed, but a rich, soil brown) were “staring into his soul.”

Perhaps they were.

Perhaps that was why the suspicion eased, replaced with a curiosity that bordered on playful.  
He opened his mouth to address the creature, ask them their name, but no sound came out. Nothing, really came out.

_“Hanzo”_

Was the sense that he got, though.

Were they speaking to Jesse?

_’Him’_  
‘Him' was fine.

Not accurate.   
Not by any socially accepted human definition, but fine.

‘Hanzo’ smiled at him and, satisfied with whatever he saw in Jesse’s eyes, he began to inspect the rest of Jesse's body.

Jesse was calm, weightless. He couldn’t tell if he was dressed or not and, floating as he was in Hanzo’s non-judgmental presence, he found he didn’t care.

Hanzo finished his inspection and took Jesse’s hand, pulling him through the water, away from the glowing things and down to a sandy shelf and, oh, Jesse had never seen so many colors.  
Coral, and sponges. Urchins and anemones. Schools of fish in gold and silver, purple and blue, and red and yellow, dashed, darted, and swirled around and beyond him.

Hanzo brushed against him, gaining his attention and beckoning him further along the reef.  
Jesse recognized clown fish and angelfish. A small ray disturbed a patch of sand waking from his nap.  
He didn’t know how long or how far they explored. The reef climbed over a series of small caves and seaweed sheltered a small grotto.  
Jesse swam down to look at a clutch of fist sized clams sitting atop the sand.   
When he looked up, Hanzo was nowhere to be seen.  
Panic filled Jesse’s chest.  
A flash of shining cobalt in his periphery calmed him.  
Jesse got a sense of mild regret for scaring him, quickly replaced by excitement, mischief, and fun.

_Come play,_  
It said.

Jesse followed the glimmer of blue scales beyond the grotto and into a small kelp forest.

He stopped and scanned the greenery for the blue scales when a large weight slammed into his back.  
If Jesse could have made a sound he would have grunted, but he couldn’t.  
Hanzo laughed at him in a strangely silent way and turned, disappearing back into the forest.  
Searching had, so far, proved fruitless. A shimmer of lapis caught his eye, but it was only a fish.  
Strong fingers carded through his hair, tugging and Jesse looked up as Hanzo looked down at him, eyes brimming with mirth.

He darted away again and Jesse resumed his search as Something inside him took up its song again.

> _I would be a merman bold._  
>  I would sit and sing the whole of the day;  
> I would fill the sea-halls with a voice of power;  
> But at night I would roam abroad and play  
> With the mermaids in and out of the rocks,   
> Dressing their hair with the white sea-flower;  
> And holding them back by their flowing locks 

Jesse moved an armfull of kelp to find he had come upon the edge of the forest.

Below him was… a sight.

A parody of the reef; bone white and lifeless. As though some Horror had come and drained it of vitality.

Resting in the middle of this blighted field was a sunken ship.

The siren on the prow called to him, her head lifted back in the murky green of the still water. She sang of danger, and treasure.

Jesse was unable to resist.

He swam towards the wreck, each kick of his feet (tail?) Felt sluggish and every arm length he gained, the ship only seemed further and further away until all at once it was upon him, dominating his field of vision.

He ran a hand along a barnacle encrusted plank and he could Feel it.

The sharpness of the wind and the ice cutting at the black sails, the smell of the guns, the fear of the men turning into the storm, knowing their fate as they did, but knowing also their fate if the gilded ship that followed were allowed to take her.

Jesse circled the ship and she showed him her wound; the place where she had broken deep and taken water. It was big enough to swim through, so he did.

The water here was stagnant, choking. Full of rot and algae. He hadn’t noticed the little eddying currents of the open ocean until they were gone.

He wandered from cabin to cabin, unsure of exactly what he was searching for until he found it.  
Behind a tattered, sodden curtain that once adorned a wealthy merchant’s bed.

Treasure.

A horde to match any dragon’s, and atop it a silver diadem, dripping with lacy chains and pearls and set with a large, faceted sapphire.

It was pretty.

He imagined the pearls woven into ink black hair. The blue stone setting off shining cobalt scales.

Hanzo would make it beautiful.

He reached. No sooner had his fingers brushed the cool metal than darkness overtook him again.

This wasn’t the darkness of dreaming or the sunless depth of the sea.  
It was a malice made material. A hatred for life and light given physical form; claws, tentacles and a mask of pale bone.

The spread of ink stung his eyes and burned his insides.  
Something grabbed his wrist and he tried to fight, but only flailed helplessly. It dragged him along with great speed until the darkness broke and was left behind.

They slowed to a stop and Jesse gathered his wits.

It was Hanzo.

Hanzo looked back at him, chest heaving, hand still wrapped around his wrist, and eyes shining with worry and hurt.

He touched Jesse’s face gingerly.  
 _Could have been hurt. Could have died._

He chittered at Jesse in sudden upset, smacking at his arm and darting around him, checking for injury.

Jesse cupped his face, stilling him.

_I’m sorry._  
He tried.

Hanzo huffed and looked away, refusing to meet Jesse’s eyes then changed his mind, butting his head into Jesse’s chest, seeking reassurance.

_I’m sorry._

> _There would be neither moon nor star;_  
>  But the wave would make music above us afar  
> Low thunder and light in the magic night  
> Neither moon nor star. 

The open ocean was their playground and play they did, chasing whatever caught Hanzo’s eye.

They raced a school of sting rays along a swift current, Hanzo holding Jesse tight to his chest.  
Jesse watched a pilot fish clean a shark's teeth. He nearly had a finger taken off by an upset lobster, and he shamelessly snuggled a baby otter.

It was fun. Jesse felt like he should be self conscious about it. Embarrassed. But he couldn’t find it in himself to be so. 

Hanzo made him feel young and wild. Mischievous.

They took a short rest curled up together in a warm, sandy lagoon. 

Eventually Hanzo started feeling restless again so he took Jesse’s hand and smiled.  
Hanzo was leading him somewhere with clear intent.

They swept along another current through another kelp forest and down a deep trench, past where light faded and the starfish on the canyon walls began to glow, creating constellations Jesse could spend the rest of forever mapping.

Hanzo held him as they navigated through a dark cavern and Jesse blinked when they emerged on the outskirts of an underwater city.  
A bright light from within gave the illusion of sunshine, buildings of sea glass and living coral were a riot of color, and fish and sea mammals added movement and the sensation of noise.  
Those they passed, going about their routines smiled but otherwise paid them little heed.  
A couple waved, swimming along, hands entwined. One short haired with scales of topaz, the other emeraldine with red hair.  
Hanzo led Jesse through a set of elaborate gates, passed by several corridors and into an ornate throne room.

Sitting atop a throne of abalone shell was an elegant and noble being. Eyes and scales were the deep color of a cloudless sky at high noon, hair a mix of gold and silver platinum. A set of scars across their face lent a beautiful ferocity to their grace.  
They were flanked by a pair of powerful guards with daunting shields. One, scale and hair forged from steel with a body that told a thousand stories of battles both grim and glorious. The other, fit and young with hair and scales like a Koi fish and holding a small anchor that served as a flail.

They were a sight to behold.

Hanzo bowed deep and the being on the throne inclined their head and the turned to the stranger in their court. 

Jesse couldn’t look away, ensnared by the azure depths, pools of long forgotten wisdom and an unbearable nameless sadness.

The spell held him prisoner until he found himself bowled over by a mass of chittering green. 

The creature entwined itself with Hanzo who wrestled it to the floor and preened when it slapped the ground in submission.

Jesse could feel eyes on him and he turned to face three others, all in varying shades of bright, almost tropical colors; pink, lime green, and purple.

The verdant creature on the floor, despite their defeat, continued to playfully paw at Hanzo, who seems remarkably put out for one who had been playing much the same game with Jesse not long ago.

The behavior, the similarity of features, and the green sea serpent, a match to Hanzo’s blue, across the newcomer's back, gave him the impression of brothers.

_Genji_

Genji. Hanzo’s brother.

A rumbling emanated from the direction of the throne and the noble creature upon it glared in a way that suggested they were done with the tomfoolery of young ones.

Even young Genji bowed with respect and the lot of them left to find a more appropriate place for their games.

Hanzo took Jesse’s hand again and they followed the others out of the city and back into the open ocean.

> _We would call aloud in the dreamy dells,_  
>  Call to each other and whoop and cry   
> All night merrily, merrily;  
> They would pelt me with starry spangles and shells,  
> Laughing and clapping their hands between,  
> All night merrily, merrily: 

They raced back and forth in version of tag that seemed to involve a great deal of good natured tail slapping until Genji drew his tail fin slowly across Jesse’s hair causing Hanzo to wrap himself possessively around Jesse and hiss at his brother who only laughed.

Jesse laughed and smiled. He raced and chased and hid and sought. 

He felt the bond of life between them all and between all living things.

He learned and he taught, he sang and he listened.

He discovered names and traits.

_Hana_ Coral pink and slender with a will of steel.

_Lùcio_ Bright green and yellow. No one had a deeper love and understanding of the music of the Deep.

_Sombra_ Quick and clever. Amethyst with a sly wisdom of depths so dark and ancient even Time had forgotten them.

Jesse wasn’t sure how long he spent playing with them. He really didn’teven care.  
Any intrusive thoughts about where he was and where he should be were gently swept away by Hanzo’s cool, callused hands on his warm skin. Hanzo’s sweet lips on his.

Caught up together as they were, they almost didn’t notice when Genji disappeared.

> _But I would throw them back in mine_  
>  Turkis and agate and almondine  
> Then leaping out upon them unseen  
> I would kiss them often under the sea,  
> And kiss them again till they kissed me 

They searched the open sea, but he was not there.  
They searched the city, but he was not there.  
They searched the lagoon, but he was not there.  
They searched the kelp forest, but he was nowhere to be found.

Hanzo started to panic and Jesse held him close.  
They would find his brother.

There was only one place they had not looked.

Jesse drew up his courage and parted the leaves in front of him.

He gazed out upon the field of bleached coral and the ship that was its only landmark.

Stormclouds roiled at the edge of his vision, the gathering darkness making the glitter of emerald scales, caught in the thrall of the ship, stand out.

Jesse felt his fists clench. Memories of oil thick miasma coating his throat overwritten by the desperate fear in Hanzo’s eyes.

There was no time to loose and suddenly the wreck loomed over him as before. 

The ghosts of the ship pressed against him, holding him back and turning him away. Something wanted its prey.

Jesse pushed and fought, but it was just as he caught sight of a bright green serpent that time ran out.

The black hit him like a maelstrom and Jesse thrashed, grasping for the wrist he knew was just beyond his reach.  
Finally his fingers closed around cool flesh he pulled with all his might, kicked with all his being. 

He swam and swam and swam, pausing only long enough to pull Genji to his chest.

He swam until he burned, until he could go no further, until he did not recognize the waters around him.

He pulled Genji closer. His eyes were closed, he wasn’t moving.  
He held a hand to Genji's chest. There was the movement.

Out, not down.

It was not enough to stave off the terror that filled him.

He did not know where they were.

The water here was still and pale.  
If there was life, he could not see it.  
If there was warmth he could not feel it.

He hadn’t outrun the darkness.

It was coming.

There was no sound as threads of ice creeped down around him to fuse to the sea floor and spread. They grew and thickens until they were surrounded by a cage of living ice.

It was here.

It had no true form beyond the mass of darkness and yet a being emerged from the miasma to sit before him just beyond the bounds of his cage.

Cold, and ashen, and adamantine. It was almost as ancient as the sea itself.

It regarded Jesse as only a being of malevolent death could.

_Choose._

Choose.

His own life or Genji's.

Jesse closed his eyes.  
He did not hesitate.  
He saw, in his mind’s eye, Genji as he was mere hours ago.  
Light and life and all that was opposed to the creature before them.

He saw his new friends, the way they laughed and played in the sunlit waters.

He saw the noble creature upon the throne of abalone in a city of sea glass.

He saw Hanzo.  
Saw his eyes, felt his touch, smelled his skin.

He remembered the fear in them.  
He remembered the love.

Choose?

There was no choice.

Jesse was at peace with this.

He closed his eyes and offered his neck. He felt the darkness flood through him, felt it burn into his flesh like acid and coated his insides like oil. 

There was pain, bright and searing, and then there was nothing. No hate, no love, no wisdom or time or warmth or cold or light or life or song.

Jesse floated in the expanse of emptiness until there was no longer even a Jesse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sensation returned.

An unnamed discomfort. He did not know if he was wet or dry or too hot or too cold and suddenly he was Jesse again.

Jesse McCree.

And he was definitely wet.

Hot and wet.

The tide had washed up upon him only enough to soak his clothes and now a mid-morning sun beat down on him hard enough to make him sweat.

His neck popped in four places as he turned his head which exploded in pain.

“Serves you right for falling asleep out here.” Said a surprising sympathetic voice from behind him.

Jesse turned and, for an instant, he forgot his pain.

Dark hair and dark eyes and a sapphire blue Dragon tattoo.  
Jesse McCree traced, with his eyes, the elaborate blue scales that adorned Hanzo Shimada’s left arm.

“Breakfast is gone.”  
“What?”  
“Breakfast. You slept through it.”

It took a long second for the words to register in Jesse's head.

“You didn’t wake me?”

Hanzo tilted his head to the side.

“You were dreaming. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Was I?”

“I don’t know. Were you?”

Jesse closed his eyes. There was a song. He got the impression of warmth and love but also incredible sorrow.

Be blinked.

“I don’t remember.”

Hanzo rolled his eyes but smiled softly as he offered Jesse a hand up.

“Then let it go. Food will help. Let’s go.”

Jesse nodded humbly. He allowed himself to be handed up and allowed himself to be caught against Hanzo chest as his legs trembled and allowed himself to stay there until they steadied.

By the time they crossed the beach in search of food Jesse had forgotten that he had even dreamed.

And on the beach the wind drew itself through the rocks and the grass and across the shells and took up a song, ancient, and wise.

> _Oh! What a happy life were mine_  
>  Under the hollow-hung oceans green!  
> Soft are the moss-beds under the sea;  
> We would love merrily, merrily. 
>
>> __

**Author's Note:**

> So this one was inspired by The Merman by Alfred Lord Tennyson (1830).
> 
> I did take out 1 or 2 uncomfortable stanzas in the first bit, but I'm still pleased with the result.
> 
> I actually started this a few months ago and hit a bit of a wall for a while, but it's done! It's here! And I'm super excited.
> 
> As always thank you so much and if you are interested in poetry, crafting, and whatever else I can manage to Tweet about, come follow me over on Twitter @TomyrisDarkward.
> 
> 💚 u guys!


End file.
